A blog about whatever randomosity my fevered mind conceives.

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Brought to you by the letter ‘F’…

Even cheating with these easy posts, I seem to be having a difficult time finding time to get on here right now. Life’s been nutty, what can I say? I almost forgot all about it today, but then this song came on and I thought, ‘oh duh!’. I’m here now – if only for a second – to leave you with a video from one of my favourite female artists. Have a great evening folks.

Fuckin’ Perfect – Pink

Brought to you by the letter ‘E’…

Okay, I’m in a super rush so I’m going to make this very quick…

It’s been an interesting weekend around here (for me at least) and I REALLY want to tell you guys all about it, so wish me luck on the time management thing. Hopefully I’ll be back soon’ish. In the meantime, I LOVE this video… enjoy.

Evolution – Korn

Brought to you by the letter ‘D’…

Okay, I’ve come to the conclusion that I SUCK lately; at least as a blogger. I had two poems and a handful of other songs that I wanted to come back and post yesterday, but time just got away from me… again. In my defence, I am sick – damn kids! – and I’ve got a million and one little tasks on my agenda right now (mostly annoying and somewhat mundane things like sorting 2 ½ TB of computer files). Alas, it is what it is. I have some things to do this morning, and than I will try to find some time to devote (exclusively) to my blog and – of course – catching up on all of yours. Before I do anything, I’m going to leave you with a song and a confession…

Now, rewatching this video makes me greatly question my own libido, but I must plead guilty to having had a major crush on Billy Idol for more than half of my life. This crush remained incredibly strong until the point when I became addicted to Buffy the Vampire Slayer (wow, why stop at one embarrassing confession?) and replaced Idol in my fantasies with James Marsters. Yes, I am a special girl.

Dancing With Myself – Billy Idol

Brought to you by the letter ‘C’…

I know I’m not the only person that does this (I know, because I’ve heard others talk about it before) but when I look back – think back – on my life, there are soundtracks playing over the memories. For example, when I think about the first apartment that I ever shared with Zed – a crappy little place that was only made wonderful by the blindness of new love – there is a never ending stream of Alanis Morissette, Jewel (yes, I had a Jewel and Alanis fad, sue me), Tupac and Oasis songs playing in the background. When I think about hanging out with my cousin (and best friend once upon a time) as a kid,  there are always Corey Hart and New Kids on the Block songs playing over the mental images. Okay, admitting to the N.K.O.T.B. thing is way worse then Jewel and/or Alanis, especially if I tack on a confession about having once even attended one of their concerts, but c’mon, I was only 13! I’m not even going to talk about how I once owned a Joey McIntyre doll, or how I wore a fedora for an entire summer; that’s just way too embarrassing. Anyway, so not the point…  

The point is that when I started thinking about the letter ‘C’ in relation to music, my brain went into overdrive as it tossed out title after bloody title. I’ve been up since six (it’s eight-thirty now) sorting computer files (still working on that, but haven’t had enough time to devote to it yet, so it’s been a REALLY slow process) listening to nothing but ‘C’ songs. Yes, I’m weird… it is what it is.

One of the first songs that came rushing back with a landside of memories was ‘Change’ by ‘Blind Melon’. I have heard this song preformed by a number of different artists, and I have always loved it, but there was a time when it was practically my anthem. When I was struggling to find my way back through the looking glass, I must have listened to this song a million and a half times. I found so much wisdom in the lyrics;

I don’t feel the suns comin’ out today
its staying in, its gonna find another way.
As I sit here in this misery, I don’t
think I’ll ever see the sun from here.
And oh as I fade away,
they’ll all look at me and say, and they’ll say,
Hey look at him! I’ll never live that way.
But that’s okay
they’re just afraid to change.
When you feel your life ain’t worth living
you’ve got to stand up and
take a look around you then a look way up to the sky.
And when your deepest thoughts are broken,
keep on dreaming boy, cause when you stop dreamin’ it’s time to die.
And as we all play parts of tomorrow,
some ways will work and other ways we’ll play.
But I know we all can’t stay here forever,
so I want to write my words on the face of today.
and then they’ll paint it
And oh as I fade away,
they’ll all look at me and they’ll say,
Hey look at him and where he is these days.
When life is hard, you have to change.

; and it inspired me to keep moving forward, no matter what.

People tend to discern different meanings in different songs, but for me this always served as a reminder that I had no choice but to change; to grow, to be a better me. Anyone that has ever gone through a period of deep personal growth can attest to the fact that others in your life don’t (generally) appreciate the change. At every corner they seem to rebel against it, making it (at times) much more difficult to alter your life. Whenever I felt that was the case in my world, I would listen to this song over and over again, reminding myself that I was the ONLY person I had to appease; I was the only one that would be stuck with ‘me’ until my days ran out, so living for others – or to fit into the bubble that others want to stuff me in – was a ridiculous way to live. Yes, this was one of the songs playing when my #1 life philosophy was born; I am the ruler of my own universe.  

Change – Blind Melon 

Brought to you by the letter ‘B’ song II…

The first Eminem song that I ever heard was ‘Stan’ (it gave me goosebumps) and it caused me to fall instantly in lust with this man’s music. My baby brother (my favourite brother) looks an insane amount like this guy and I can’t watch one of his videos without missing the kid. I miss him now in fact… it’s been about a year since I last saw him and since we had to cancel any plans of going to B.C. this month (been a busy AND very expensive month around here) I likely won’t see him until sometime near the end of the summer.

Anywho… love this song… enjoy!

Beautiful – Eminem

Baby I’m Sorry

{This is a reposting of a poem I did way back in the beginning that had like two views. Ya, I’m cheating (again), but hey look! It starts with a ‘B’ so at least I’m cheating with purpose! An interesting side note… This was actually written as a song (though there were some changes made to make it work better as a poem) and there is a very shitty recording of me singing it. If I didn’t love y’all so damn much, I’d post that clip just to scare you! tee hee}

You said, “Well baby I know that I made you cry,

and baby I know that I told you lies,

but I’m sorry now

… I’m so fuck’in sorry now.”

And I said, “Well baby I’m sorry that I’m walking away,

and baby I know that you want me to stay,

but I’m hurt’in now

… I’m so fuck’in hurt’in now.”

As I walked out the door, with hot tears on my face,

I felt so alone, and so out of place.

I felt so betrayed; so empty and strange;

but as I kept moving forward, I started to change…

You said, “Well baby I know that I wasn’t true,

and baby I know I was no good to you,

but I’m sorry now

… I’m so fuck’in sorry now.”

And I said, “Well baby I know that you’re full of shit,

and believe me, my dear; I’ll get over it,

but I’m angry now

… I’m so fuck’in angry now.”

And I laughed up at the sky as it started to rain,

for as the water came down, it washed clean the pain.

I thought; why should I care if I was breaking your heart,

when it was your indiscretions that tore us apart?

You said, “Well baby I know that I messed up bad.

And baby I know that I made you sad,

But I’m sorry now

… I’m so fuck’in sorry now.”

And I said, “Well maybe you’ll hurt, when you’re all alone.

And maybe you’re sorry; but you can’t atone,

‘Cause I’m over it now

… I’m so fuck’in over you now.”

I kept walking away, and I didn’t look back,

For I had no more use for such a sad, sorry sack.

I was thrilled it was over, and I was glad to be free,

And I was ecstatic to learn that you couldn’t break me.

Brought to you by the letter ‘B’…

We are living in the Recycling Era. That’s not to say that we’ve all become powerfully responsible when it comes to caring for our Mother Earth – let’s face it, most of us are not doing even a portion of what we could should on that front – but that there seems to be a shortage of new ideas circulating in the world around us. Music, movies, TV shows and even books all seem to be borrowing from old ideas, and in some (many) cases, they’re just remaking old gems word for word. Sometimes this annoys the hell out of me; though I’m not sure if I’m bothered more by remakes or ‘reimaginings’; since more often than not, they completely screw it up.

Every once in a rare while they do get something right. This (in my opinion) is one of those cases..

Bad Company – Five Finger Death Punch

A is for Ass-Crack…

A is for Ass-crack, which is something that I spent FAR too much time staring at today. Shortly after I regaled you fine folks with a song from one of my favourite Canadian artists, the furnace repair type guy showed up to try and figure out why our pilot light keeps spontaneously going out. Now, he wasn’t an obese man – perhaps a few pounds overweight, but not so much – and yet, his ass seemed to be three sizes too big for his pants while his waste appeared to be three sizes too small for his belt.

I can’t really say why my eyes kept drifting to his budging buns, but I’ve noticed in the past that such things are almost impossible to avoid. It’s like driving past a car wreck; you don’t want to look, and yet you can’t seem to help yourself. I’ve noticed this same phenomena at the beach when no one can stop looking at the fat hairy guy’s crotch as his purple helmeted pal fights to escape his too-tight banana hammock, and I’ve noticed it at on nights out at the bar when perfectly young, good looking guys can’t help themselves from staring into the all-too-obvious cottage-cheese cleavage of a terrifying cougar on the prowl. There might not be a logical reason for us to look at such horrible things, and yet we do it anyway.

That’s how it was for me today. My mind kept screaming, “LOOK AWAY, LOOK AWAY!!!” but my eyeballs refused to listen. As he rambled on in his repair-man talk, I stood behind him pretending to listen while my gaze was trapped in the purgatorial crevice between his ass cheeks. While locked in this stare down a couple of things occurred to me; 1) huh, ass crack starts with A, how ironic since I just started on an alphabet themed thing on my blog, and 2) I wonder if anyone’s ever thought about designing pants just for repairmen, since it seems that regular pants never fit them quite right. One could – quite possibly – become rich beyond their wildest dreams if they could create a pair of pants that actually stayed up on a repairman’s hips. This though made me wish I could sew. Sadly, I can’t.

As I watched him go down my front walk towards his van, I found myself wondering if prominent ass cracks are a requirement when applying for positions specializing in home maintenance. I wondered this – you see – because I can not recall a single repairman ever coming into my home who’s crack I didn’t catch at least a glimpse of. I found this far more amusing than any sane person likely would, and I got a decent chuckle out of it.  

The good news is that butt-crack-Bob (seriously, his name was Bob) changed out some little thingamajig on my furnace and left me with the promise that the problem was now a thing of the past.

Now I know my ABC’s…

Ugh!!! I need more hours in a day because this 24 hour clock is just ticking away too damn fast for me right now. Because I’ve been writing here for um – wow – almost three months without missing a single day of posting, I am entirely loathe to start missing days now. However, being as that I seem continuously short on time of late, in order to stick with this daily post goal, I feel the need to start cheating a little. Therefore I’m stealing an idea from gypsy116 (Through my eyes: Adventures in Borderline land); the Alphabet Soundtrack Challenge. Sorry, I don’t mean to cheat you fine folks, but trust me when I say that this beats the alternative; if I let myself start missing days it wont be long before I completely disappear, and I really don’t want to do that.

I have SO much that I WANT to write right now, but just no time to get it done. Soon(ish) my schedule should be back to normal(ish), and so I just need something easy right now to keep me in the routine. The Alphabet Soundtrack Challenge seems just about perfect for that. However (like with damn near everything in my life) I’m going to put my own spin on it; I’m going to do alphabet ‘themed’ posts one day at a time, and I have every intention of keeping other posts coming (when I have the time at any rate). If this seems at all strange, just remember this blog’s mission statement: MY OWN PRIVATE UNIVERSE – A blog about whatever randomosity my fevered mind conceives. Okay? Cool! Without further ado…

Abandonment – Bif Naked

(There’s not an official video for this song, but I LOVE the incorporation of one of my favourite video game – of all time – franchises.)

I’m running out of clever things to say about my rambling…

For the most part, having children is AWESOME! There is – however – one small thing about kids that’s somewhat less than desirable; they’re germ mongers. It’s really not so bad when they’re little, but once they hit school age you send them off five days a week to swim in a veritable virus pool of ugly little bacteria with their little germ monger peers. What this means – for your ENTIRE household – is that you will then spend the next baker’s dozen of years cycling through damn near every minor nasty known to man. The worst part? No amount of vitamin C, zinc and/or Echinacea can entirely spare you from these lovely little illnesses; once you have kids, they’re just a part of the natural order of things.

Yep, there’s another cold/flu making its way through the house, and this one’s shaping up to be a real doozy. So far I remain uninfected, but history has already taught me how this works; I should remain healthy up until the girls are both over the worst of their symptoms, and then BAM!!! the bugs will get me! In the meantime, I can look forward to a few nights (like last night) where I barely get to sleep at all because Kara is waking up every hour or so in a fit. The poor little monkey gets pretty cranky when she’s sick, and this time around is no exception.

Ah well, it is what it is.

I meant to come back for a second posting yesterday, but (as per usual lately) I found myself short on time and couldn’t make it. No worries; that intended posting was just a ramble and rambling can be done at anytime… now works too.

For those of you who read ‘Treat of the Week’, I really wanted to point out a few (in my mind) interesting things about it. And what you ask, is that? Oh, I’m so glad you inquired! Though the story is fictional, there are some truths scattered throughout. Let’s start with the main concept of the story; the man who – completely out of the blue – comes home from work one Friday night to poison his family with milkshakes. This may or may not be a true story.

When I was a little kid, I overheard my uncle talking about just such an event – apparently perpetrated by some man he knew – and the story stuck with me. The reason I say that this ‘may or may not’ be a true story is that the uncle who told it is the same man who once told me that he accidentally ran over the Easter Bunny, and that we’d be having rabbit stew for Easter dinner in lieu of turkey. His credibility was instantly – and permanently – damaged in my mind when the Easter Bunny did in fact drop by that year with goodies. When I got older, I always meant to go down to the library to dig through the archives and find out if the story was true, but I just never got around to it. I don’t remember much of what he said about the tale back then – it was a long time ago – but I remember being a little suspicious of milkshakes for awhile.      

The other thing about this story that you might find interesting to know is that we once lived three doors down from a man who – after discovering his wife’s infidelity – blew his brains out in the cab of his truck. The truck was parked out front of their house and a gaggle of junior high kids discovered the hideous mess on the way to the bus stop that morning.

I remember being incredibly pissed at the guy for being such a thoughtless twonk. Don’t you dare judge me for my lack of sympathy in the matter, I felt plenty bad for him as far as the disloyalty went; the entire neighbourhood knew about his wife’s indiscretions (she wasn’t exactly discrete about her affairs, and one of her paramours was a work buddy of her husband’s that would show up in a (marked) work truck five minutes after her husband left nearly every morning). I was also quite sad that he would be so broken by the discovery that he felt the only way out was suicide. He lost my sympathy when he opted to take his life out in the open where his body was almost guaranteed to be discovered by school kids. Hell, the moron had his own kids that could have just as likely discovered the grizzly scene. In pain or no, I found his way of dealing with the situation to be completely irresponsible.

The quote at the end was something I read in the newspaper once. It was stated by some guy that was on trial for killing his own family and I’m not entirely sure if I got either the quote or the man’s name exactly right. That too was a long time ago and I’m afraid my memory sucks at times. I’m not even sure how that quote worked its way into the last line; it certainly wasn’t where I was intending to wind up.

Now, I’m not overly fond of this story (but when am I, right?), but I do like the bones beneath it. It’s yet another tale that I might have to return to at some point to rewrite properly, but with this whole ‘flash fiction’ experimentation sort of thing, I’m limiting my time for both writing and editing the pieces. Besides – as this whole blog experience is teaching me – I know NOTHING about my own writing. I never really know what will or will not go over well, and I’ve been doing a reasonably good job (for me) of sharing whether I like the piece or not.

Moving on…

This is just a completely random fact to see who’s actually paying attention: I HATE ladybugs. Everyone I know seems to like these disgusting little creatures, but not I! They are just over glorified beetles, and beetles are one step away from being cockroaches; cockroaches are the most disgusting creatures (in my opinion) on this planet. As if that’s not a reason enough to hate them, they piss on you; double gross. My skin crawls just thinking about those ugly little bastards. The worst thing about not being a fan of ladybugs around here is that every spring/summer our yard (and sometimes even house) gets overrun with the damn things. It’s quite creepy.

Hmm, I’ve got about fifteen minutes left to myself before my sister and her kids get here, so I best try wrapping this up.

I have been desperately trying to catch up (and stay caught up) on at least my favourite blogs for the last week and a half or so, but I am definitely struggling with this. Please do not take my absence as abandonment! I will have some time later this afternoon (between unwanted company, tending to a sick toddler, cleaning the garage and sorting computer files – still working on getting everything in order on that note, and I’ve STILL not had much time to get my new computer set up to my liking) but I’ve already dedicated most of that time to one of my favourite blogs that I’m like a thousand posts behind on. Just know that I’m working on it!

My (hockey) team has been knocked out of the playoffs (SAD SAD FACE!!!) so at least my evenings (in theory) should start to open up a little more as April morphs into May. Though I’m not overly fond of spending a lot of time at my comp in the evenings, at least I’ll have more time to write.

Oh, last thing before I go… I just wanted to (officially) welcome back my beloved Gabriela Vargas!! Oh how I’ve missed you… can’t wait to read all about what you’ve been up to all month!

Okay, that’s it. This is me running away….

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