A blog about whatever randomosity my fevered mind conceives.

My Reality

Here I sit –

Alone again

Here I stand –

On my own again

With doubt inside my veins, pumping like blood through a blackened heart

And everything I’ve ever known –

Ever believed and never shown –

Inside my brain like a disease

It’s a cancer –

Tearing up my sanity and raping me of my wisdom

It’s my chocolate –

– My liqueur–

Washing through my very being and filling me with dread

I am lost –

And this time, not even words can save me

But…

A strange satisfaction –

 An odd pleasure arrives with this fall through shadows

As I realize the only one left to please, is me

I Imagine…

A panel of faceless judges lingering in a bleak future…

No!

I AM God here

For I was the first to arrive and I will be the last to leave

You may join me if you wish…

You may follow… if you dare

But you are entering my world –

– My reality –

And though you may think you know the rules

I know you’re a playing a different game

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16 responses

  1. Wow! This one was majorly empowering! I mean, “I AM God here, for I was the first to arrive and I will be the last to leave!” holds so much weight! It started out all sad, but then it turns into so much more! 😀

    February 28, 2012 at 10:11 am

    • I’ve been having issues with my focus again today… I spent the better part of an hour staring at the blinking cursor on my screen without writing a word. I was feeling a little anxious about moving forward with my novel, and then I thought ‘screw it. It’s my creation, I can nurture it or murder it as I see fit – so long as I do it for me’. Thus the poem… and it seems to be working because I’m not staring at the stupid cursor anymore, but forcing it to do my bidding! 😛

      February 28, 2012 at 10:16 am

      • Ooo. When I buy your novel when it gets published, can I please please get a copy that’s personally autographed by you? 😛

        Seriously good poem though. I’m glad things turned out.

        February 28, 2012 at 10:22 am

      • lol ‘when’ (or more so ‘if’) I ever get published, I will send you your very own copy with a personal inscription and a warm thank you for your constant words of encouragement. First though, I have to get the damn thing birthed.

        February 28, 2012 at 10:26 am

      • Well, the when is in your hands but the “if” WILL DEFINITELY HAPPEN!

        YAY! I know a future famous author! *giggles*

        February 28, 2012 at 10:29 am

      • lol. You will NEVER know how much your constant support means to me. Seriously.

        February 28, 2012 at 10:30 am

      • I think I do because you give me so much support every day as well! Honestly. I would never write as much as I do if weren’t for the constant encouragement.

        February 28, 2012 at 10:32 am

      • Then YAY US!!! God knows the writer’s ego is a fragile thing!

        February 28, 2012 at 10:34 am

      • Haha. All too true.

        February 28, 2012 at 10:36 am

      • Ooo. When I buy your novel when it gets published, can I please please get a copy that’s personally autographed by you? 😛

        Seriously good poem though. I’m glad things turned around.

        February 28, 2012 at 10:22 am

  2. Dig it, and you’re preaching to the choir. The answer and the key is YOU.

    Wonderful, I love it, very uplifting!

    Pete

    February 28, 2012 at 10:22 am

    • Thank you Pete! I really appreciate that.

      February 28, 2012 at 10:24 am

  3. Amazing write. I love the Woman in Black. Fantastic shot!

    February 28, 2012 at 10:59 am

    • Thank you so much Chrissy.

      February 28, 2012 at 11:00 am

  4. gypsy116

    I absolutely love the way you write 🙂

    February 28, 2012 at 5:48 pm

    • Thank you so much… truly.

      February 28, 2012 at 9:53 pm

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