A blog about whatever randomosity my fevered mind conceives.

A murder of crows…

The crows are back, and this time they brought their friends. There are dozens of them perched in the trees that line my street, and dozens more flying in loose circles above. For the most part, they’re pretty quiet, but every now and then they break out in a chorus of ‘caw-caw, caw-caw’ which for some reason I find both incredibly cool, and more than a little creepy. I’m not a superstitious person, but I do have one hell of an imagination. As I’ve sat out there on my steps today (I smoke outside you see) I’ve gone over a score of different scenarios in my head…

I’ve considered a dead body lying somewhere unnoticed (but by the birds) in one of the nearby alleys; crows are carrion scavengers, right? I’ve chewed over the details of the grisly murder that led to the sadly ignored corpse, and I’m quite sure it was a crime of passion. It’s always a crime of passion! Or perhaps it was a drug deal gone bad. Whichever the case, I’m pretty sure the body’s laying partially in and partially out of mud puddle, and thankfully, it’s still not warm enough for their to be maggots. I hate maggots so much I don’t even like imagining them.    

I’ve also mulled over the possibility that one of my neighbours is at death’s door and that the crows have come in lieu of the Reaper – for some reason, crows and the Reaper often go hand in hand in my mind. I’d try to help out the poor soul – or at least go be with them so they didn’t have to face the final moments alone – but as that my neighbourhood is ¾ elder retirees, I wouldn’t know where to start. All I can hope is that they’ve had a chance to make their peace, and that a loved one will find them before the smell starts to travel.

I’ve played out the possibility of a crows-gone-wild epidemic; obviously some manmade disease has set them to acting strangely – damn those men! At the exact moment this idea first popped into my mind, a big fat sucker twitched his head and looked down at me with one terribly black, soulless eye. That’s when I knew I must be on to something… but then my idea-train jumped the track and I became pretty certain that the crows are just the prelude to the zombie apocalypse that will hit any moment now; yet another manmade disease can be blamed for this one – damn those men! I’ve been keeping a close eye on the passersby this afternoon, just in case they look a bit peckish for some human flesh. Don’t worry, I’m fast… if they dart in my direction, I’ll beat them inside, grab for the newest acquisition in my blade collection (still haven’t gotten around to mounting it even though it’s been two weeks) and decapitate the bugger! Mess with me? Pfft, I think not.

The most unlikely (and definitely most boring) of the scenarios that have been running through my head, involves the birds just gathering to enjoy the beautiful sunshine and soak up the warmth. I mean, it is a lovely day out there, so a layman might be fooled into falling for this innocent explanation, but I know they’re up to no good. While it’s not quite lovely enough to lie in the grass, it is a definite step up from the icky-grey-gloominess of yesterday, and the sun is deliciously warm on the skin. Perhaps a little time outdoors is just what I need to restore my energy levels, but I’m really heading out there to further investigate those dastardly crows. 


10 responses

  1. You have “one hell of an imagination” indeed! I can envision any of your scenarios playing out…. 🙂

    March 29, 2012 at 4:12 pm

  2. Okay, I LOVE the narrative in this post. You should really do more like it. It made it laugh (at the fact that 3/4 of your neighbors are retired so you wouldn’t know where to start looking), gasp (at the mention of maggots), be terrified (at the “crows gone wild” theory), and laugh again (zombies, really? :P).

    AND OMG. You have a blade collection! HOW COOL IS THAT!

    Did you ever consider that they might have their own personal agenda to RUIN the beautiful day? I mean, how many animals can make you feel all creeped out on a wonderfully sunny morning? I’m telling you, they’re terrorists against the joy. They just wanna poop on your day. 😛

    March 29, 2012 at 5:29 pm

    • LMAO I’m glad someone out there gets me!! Yes (shame faced) my mind always goes to zombies at some point… I’m freakin obsessed with them lol.
      OH and dude, you didn’t know about my blade collection? I’ve been collecting knives and swords and throwing stars and the like since I was about 17 or so… an ex stole a shit load of them once (the same one who’s nose I broke! hehe) but my collection is getting nice again. I have my eye on this really pretty sword right now, but it’s like $2200 and I’ve yet to find an excuse to make buying it seem like a good thing lol.
      That did cross my mind you know… that they had an agenda just to wig me out and nothing else. I also considered that they might be a bad omen and that something terrible was about to happen… gave me the shivers! THe bastards hehe. Still, I’d rather them poop on my day than on me!!! ewwww

      March 29, 2012 at 5:35 pm

      • me laugh*

        God. I’m not even tired and I’m still making typos. *smacks her herself on the head*

        I’ve come to realize that you’re obsessed with them. I’m gonna have to look them up at one point of time and see what all the fuss is about. Lol.

        And nooo. I didn’t know about your blade collection. If I ever visit you, I’ll have to have a look. It sounds so damn cool! The only collection I’ve got is of stamps. Very lame.

        A crow pooped on my head once. It was right before I was going to enter a party, which was like prom after party thing for my seniors. I got so peeved, but people kept telling me it was good luck. Turned out, they weren’t off base.

        One of my really friends, who’s a little pissed with me nowadays, showed up even though he’d said he might not be able to make it. YAY! Best date I’ve ever had in my entire life. Seriously. Doesn’t keep me from still getting creeped out around crows though. Lol.

        March 29, 2012 at 5:46 pm

  3. Waiting for heaven . .
    Even the dim can’t resist light.
    That picture is now stuck in my head : )

    March 29, 2012 at 6:25 pm

  4. I too, think they have an agenda. ( I believe that Crows have orange beaks and Ravens have black beaks) There are a lot of ravens around my house and they have a sound sometimes thats like the beast in Predator. I think its a malevolent communication between them all. I’ve heard that people have tried getting rid of them and they can’t. They eat the dead squirrels on the street. LOTS of cars pass by and kill squirrels because the street leads to an Elementary School. The ravens are watching how we rear our kids.

    March 29, 2012 at 11:01 pm

  5. i love this – crows are incredibly smart, they can reason, fashion tools and even tell lies.

    March 30, 2012 at 2:59 am

  6. Hehe… makes me want to write a story! O.o I LOVE IT

    March 30, 2012 at 2:29 pm

    • I started two new short stories because of my interaction with the crows over the last couple of days… unfortunately I’ve not really be very focused lately, so neither of them are done lol.

      March 30, 2012 at 2:31 pm

  7. Thanks for the imagination about the crows, it is very movie scenes too! Maybe i watch too much movies involving crows.

    April 14, 2012 at 1:00 am

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