A blog about whatever randomosity my fevered mind conceives.

30 Day Blog Challenge

Day 30: A letter to yourself; tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself…

Dear Robin,

Do you remember once upon a not that long ago, when you used to believe people were incapable of real change? Ah, it’s almost sweet when we sit back and take stock of all the things we’ve been wrong about over the years, isn’t it? I mean, you used to believe that you were defined by your inner turmoil, but look at you now; living a life devoid of angst and doing a pretty decent job at it if I do say so myself. It’s interesting to see you that you’ve managed to become so conscious of yourself, whereas you used to just be self-conscious. Who could have guessed that there was a difference, right? Ah, but you know yourself better than most will ever hope to, and you rarely ever hide from the truths anymore, even when they’re less than flattering. Times sure have changed, haven’t they?

I love that you’ve learned to accept yourself; that you no longer try to be anyone other than you. I remember a time when you wanted to change everything; your appearance, your feelings, you surroundings; but you didn’t know how to escape. These days you’re not even running, and it’s nice to see you take a break.

I love that you’re not sad anymore; that you smile from your heart and not from some strange need to cover up what you’re really feeling. There was a time when I thought you would die without a single person ever really knowing you, but I no longer have to worry about that. I love your laughter – even when you giggle snort – and the honest ring I hear in it. I love that you do it so often and so loud and that you don’t seem to give a damn who might be looking at you like you’re a lunatic.

By the way… have I ever told you that you’re about the nuttiest sane person I’ve even known? It’s true – you are – and I love the way that doesn’t even faze you; I love that you’re probably grinning about that right now. I love it when you sing out loud at the top of your voice and then wink at the stranger watching you from across the street like you’ve lost your fool mind. I love that you’ll break out dancing in the middle of a public place just to brighten someone’s mood. I love that you’re the first one to volunteer to do embarrassing things, and the last one to hide away from looking like a clown… so long as there’s fun to be had in it. I remember a time when you were so busy trying to make it look like you had it altogether that acting a little silly was the last thing you were ever like to do. Funny though, isn’t it, that you’ve gotten your head so neatly together that appearing insane can amuse the hell out of you, but back when you were actually losing it, you were so concentrated on looking sane.

I love that you’re not angry anymore. I think that was one of the hardest things for me to witness; the way you grew so bitter – and even a little cruel – during the initial stages of your metamorphosis. I see now that it was just something you needed to do; getting angry and fighting back was necessary at the time; but I was worried it was going to be a lasting thing, and so I’m quite pleased to see it didn’t stick. I’m glad you decided to let all that rage go, the baggage was getting too heavy anyway, and so long as you were holding on to past trespasses against you, there was no way you could really find happiness in the moment. I’m glad too that you made your amends with those you wronged along the way; I know who you are deep down inside and I think the guilt would have gotten to you if you hadn’t.

I love that you don’t let your fear stop you anymore. I remember watching you shy away from so many things over the years, and now I’m proud to say that just doesn’t seem to be the case anymore. I still get the creepy crawlies from some of weird shit you’ve done to prove you’re your own master – ugh, remember that damn tarantula? That was gross! – but I’m proud of you just the same. It’s a big wide world out there my friend, and life is short… might as well get in as much living as you can, while you can. Do me a favour though? Don’t go swimming with sharks; there’s laughing in the face of your fear and then there’s just plain insanity… remember; you like living!

I love that you’re a good mommy. I recall you saying that you’d never have children because you were too afraid of fucking them up; I remember how you once completely believed that the chains of abuse couldn’t be broken, but this was just one more thing you turned out to be wrong about, wasn’t it? I have a lot of respect for the way you are with your kids – I know you sometimes worry about your parenting skills, but I don’t. Love is the key, kiddo, and you always have plenty of it to give. All those little tough moments; oh and you’re soon to delve into the teen years, so believe me, the tough times are coming; won’t be so bad if you just stay on course.

I love the way that you’re always looking out for other people, but what I love most is that – these days – you remember to look out for yourself too. I love the way that you love. Back when you used to hate yourself, you only thought you were giving your whole heart, but I’ve seen the truth of it for some time now. It was only by learning to appreciate yourself that you really freed yourself up inside enough to give proper adoration to those you care about, and it was only through learning to respect yourself that you learned to command the respect and loyalty of others.

I love that you don’t see the world the same way as other people, but that you try so hard to accept everyone for who and what they are, despite your differences. I think that’s a pretty decent quality in a person.

I love that when you daydream, you cast yourself as the warrior, the dragon, the queen… you can’t even imagine yourself as the damsel or the victim or the prey anymore, and I find that kind of cool. I love too that in the real world, you refuse to back down. I love that you’ll stand and fight for what you believe in.

I love that you acknowledge that wedge of darkness that’s still within you, but that you don’t shy away from it, deny it or try to hide it. You are who you are sweetheart; just roll with it. You’ve lived enough of a life to have earned that little patch of darkness, and screw anyone who says otherwise. Remember that without darkness, light will never seem half so brilliant; two sides to every coin… Who cares if some see you as a sinner and others as a saint – you know you’re both.

I love that you can be funny and serious, deep and shallow, humble and narcissistic, whorish and virginal, patient and impatient, evil and innocent, submissive and dominant, kindly and devious, childish and mature, optimistic and pessimistic, ignorant and wise, sweet and sour… and all the other things that you sometimes are. Yes, I might not come right out and say it near as often as I should, but I do love you; never forget that, my friend.

Now, while I’d love to stay and chat the day away, there are things to do and people to see. Until next time, just keep being you, and stay one of a kind.

Love always and forever,

~Robin~


Challenge Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.

There are a few things I’m still working to change about myself, and I think we’ve already touched on the majority of those things in previous challenge posts. Still, I’ll try to answer this one as though it’s a fresh concept. The two main things I’d like to change about myself go rather hand in hand (at least in my mind) so instead of one, we’ll explore the two…

The first is my level of education; I really want to raise this bar. Every time I become interested in something I will learn all I can about it (at least while the obsession lasts) and I’ve managed to teach myself quite a few interesting little things over the years, but I’m one of those people that craves feedback. Not validation exactly, but comment, criticism and advice help to focus my attentions on things I may not even be aware of doing wrong. In order to hone my skills (with most things) I need to be able to see what I’m doing through someone else’s eyes, thus, I feel there are limitations on how far I’m capable of taking myself along the path to enlightenment.

I can’t help feeling like being a part of a class; having assignments, discussions, and someone with far greater wisdom than my own on hand to point me in the right direction; would be incredibly beneficial. At this moment in time, going back to school really isn’t a viable option for me, but no worries though… I am planning on going back soon, perhaps even this coming fall if things work out.

The second thing I’d like to change about myself – and I can’t help but feel that further education would help in this second goal – is in relation to my inner-writer…

I have been scribbling down songs, poetry and stories since I learned to write – no exaggeration – and yet, it is really only in the last couple of years that I’ve even begun to call myself a writer. I always thought giving myself that title was a little pretentious, especially since I’ve not had (or even tried to have) a thing published since my mid teens. The thing I need to change on this note is really in regards to my own insecurities; how can you ever hope to accomplish something if you never try?

Now I really don’t know if I even have the skills to turn my passion into a pay check. Perhaps the universe has played yet another prank on me by giving me more desire than talent, but until I actually try to achieve my goals in this matter, I can’t really know for sure. I hate to admit this, but part of my hesitation might be coming from the fact that if I never try, I can never fail, and thus, the hope remains alive. Oh, don’t look at me like that! I know just how ridiculous the thought is!  

As I’ve pointed out (several times already), my inner-writer is a coward. Since the greater part my personality was once quite cowardly as well, I know a little bit about what it takes to get over and around fear; it’s got a lot to do with being just a little more stubborn than you are afraid, and I am nothing if not stubborn. I am working towards something, even if I’m taking all the back roads on the way to my destination point.   

You guys – whether you’re aware of it or not – are one of the greatest tools I’m utilizing in an attempt to get over my insecurities about my writing. This might seem a little strange since I don’t post my real work on this blog. I am not a poet (at least not intentionally) and I’m not really a short story writer or an essayist either; I am a novelist, or more so a wannabe novelist. Still, the bits and pieces I share with you fine folks is all about baby steps; one foot in front of another will always move you forward, even if it is at a snail’s pace.

Sharing with you guys is step one, and (obviously) this is where I am right now.  Step two is sharing more with the people in my really-real world; and this is something I’ve actually started doing a little more often since starting this blog, and this gives me a little more hope for my inner-writer’s abilities to adapt and grow. Step three will be sending off some of my short stories in the attempt to have them published; I’m so not there yet; and step four will rely a lot on my experience with step three, and involves an effort to find a publisher for my book(s).

There are a few other baby-baby steps I’m considering at this point in time to help make the transition between strides seem a little less daunting. I’ve been playing with the idea of doing a coffee table photo-poetry book with my sister (not the one we’ve been calling Jade, but my older half-sister; she’s a rather talented (I don’t think I’m being biased here) photographer). I almost did a project like this with an old friend of mine, but he was even more unfocused than I am. Since I don’t take my poetry very seriously, this mini-step doesn’t even seem scary, but more so interesting. I’ll let you know how the idea progresses.

Another baby-baby step I’m considering right now is working with a freelance writing company. I’m a little worried about how much time this could steal away from fiction writing (which is my passion) but at least it would mean getting paid for doing what I so much love doing; writing; and it might be a step in the right direction. Last night my girlfriend pointed out that it would be like starting in the mailroom when you’re really aiming for the executive position; it’s a start. I saw a lot of sense in what she had to say on the matter, but I’m still locked in an eternal debate about the merits/disadvantages in this course of action. Again, I’ll let you know how the idea progresses.  

So yes, there are still things that I would like to change about myself, but the good news is that most of them are within in reasonable reaching distance, and I am making an effort. So long as I’m not standing still or – worse – going backwards, I am optimistic about achieving all of my goals in this life.


Challenge Day 28: What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

If I got someone pregnant I’d bloody well call Guinness, and then I’d book interviews on every major talk show in North America! That would be a pretty amazing feat, and so I’d want my well-deserved fifteen minutes of fame. Also, I’d be more than happy to accept any monetary rewards that might come my way.

Um, no… this prompt must want me to take on the first role. Damn, that’s boring.

I just don’t have a very exciting answer for this one. If I got pregnant I’d respond by first sending off a strongly worded letter to the company that makes my birth control, and then I’d likely make the first of many doctors’ appointments to come. After the initial shock wore off, I’d be happy. My littlest one is getting bigger every day, and I miss having a baby already. Yes, toddlers are great and they are a lot more fun than newborns, but mine is already super-independent and sometimes it’s like trying to get blood from a stone to get her to snuggle. Infants have little choice – you can snuggle up to them all the live-long day!

Sorry, that’s all I got. This prompt would have been a lot more fun if I was a guy, single or a newbie to the whole mommy thing.


Challenge Day 27: What’s the best thing going for you right now?

At this exact moment in time, the best thing I have going for me is a little peace and quiet, and a hot cup of coffee; perfect silence in my world is hard to come by, and so when I manage to grab a slice, I like to savour the hell out of it. Of course, this little pleasure is not meant to last long, whereas I have many wondrous things in my life that – while perhaps not eternal – are designed to keep me smiling and laughing for some time to come.

The very best of the best – the cream of the crop – would have to be my family…  

Because of the way that I grew up in the world that I grew up in, I never wanted (or expected myself to) settle down and have children. At some point I even thought about joining the army just to get away; I pictured myself in a long life of singledom with the occasional hook-up to meet any physical needs I might have – you know what I mean.

Even as a little kid, when a group of us would play house or what have you, I was something like the single working neighbour-lady; she was often a little neurotic. When we’d play ‘wedding’ I was usually the preacher, occasionally the groom, but never the bride.

As I got older and began my experimentation with the dating scene, heartbreak and soul-ache only served to solidify my aversion to all things denoting domestication. There was no way I was going to have children and sit around playing someone’s dutiful wife while they ran around town doing whatever the hell it was that I thought all men would eventually do. No sir, I was going to get out of my home town and see the world and never be tied down to anyone or anything.

Flash forward to the present, here I am playing the roll of the dutiful wife with two little’uns at my side. How the hell did that happen?

The easy answer; life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans… and sometimes, life knows what’s best for you even when you don’t.

What I didn’t understand growing up was that family could be the most amazing thing in the world. A real family gives you love and support. They’re a never failing shoulder when you’re sad, strong arms to hold you when you’re having a hard time staying on your own two feet, and a well placed joke or two to coax a smile to your lips just when you think you’ll never smile again. They’re the ones that keep your secrets, eat your kitchen disasters – pretending to like it even when you know it’s terrible – and are constantly there to give you a hand when you stumble. Real family is bloody amazing.  

Growing up I scoffed at things on TV like families sitting around having what we used to call ‘Theo moments’ (for those of you who didn’t grow up in the 80s, that’s a Cosby Show reference). I guffawed at the TV dad coming in, setting down his lunch pail, and saying, “Honey, I’m home!”. I mocked people who lived in houses with little white picket fences, and at the very concept of a ‘soccer mom’…

Funny how things change.

Conflicts in our house are not solved with screaming and violence… we actually have those ‘Theo moments’; which always brings a twitch of a grin to my lips. My man does come in the door and shout out, “Honey, I’m home!” even it is just to make me laugh. I don’t have a picket fence, but I do have a white fence; the boards run parallel, but it’s close enough; and while my oldest doesn’t play soccer, she is on the basketball team, and I do attend every single game.

Yes, if a seventeen year old me was to pop into the future for a glimpse, she’d ridicule my life while never really believing it to be valid… but I know that girl well enough to say – with all certainty – that deep, deep down, I have the life she’s always secretly wanted.

Life isn’t perfect; it wasn’t designed to be perfect; but it’s pretty damn good and I can say – without an ounce of doubt – that my family is prime the reason for that.


Challenge Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

 Okay, it’s time to level with you fine folks; the following is not the original piece that I was writing up for this challenge.

Though I’ve been alluding to different aspects of my past for the last month, I haven’t really come right out and told my story. As that my story relates to the ‘why’ part of this prompt, I felt today was the perfect time to come clean with all the details of my personal history. However, by the time I got to the sixth page of a Microsoft Word document this morning – and realized that I’d barely even begun to scratch the surface – I knew that it wasn’t going to work out. It’s not that I don’t want to tell my story; there’s just a lot more to it than will comfortably fit into a single post. Until I come to a decision on how to deal with this matter, let’s just keep things simple…

I am a happy person. I laugh a lot, I smile often and I rarely have moments of deep sadness these days. I still shed tears, but many of them are due to happiness while others are tears of empathy for people and situations in the world around me. I don’t mind crying; I’m quite pleased with the fact that my fight for emotional balance didn’t cause me to become cold and uncaring. Also, I think crying is healthy; it’s a physical means of expressing our emotion. It’s like our body’s way of pumping out the poisons that could damage our well-being, and as such, I think everyone should have a good cry now and then – just to clear out the nasties.

I have shed a lot of tears in my lifetime, and I didn’t always appreciate them. In fact, I used to be ashamed of them. They were a weakness; an externalization of my inner softness when outer hardness was an essential part of survival. I was a deeply conflicted person; struggling so hard to be icy and detached when it was never in my soul to be as such. I believe this is why my brain eventually rebelled against me… there were too many discrepancies between who I was and who I was trying to be. Something was bound to snap.

Those of you that have been following along awhile now already know that I have – in the past – danced with the consideration of taking my own life. What you do not know is that there were two (not one) periods of my life when suicide had seemed like a reasonable option to me; the first period was just before I turned eighteen, and the second (the one I most often allude to) was in my twenties. The first period was not half so bad as the one that would eventually follow; that dark period of my life was a lot more to do with the world around me, while the second was really more about something internal being broken. The first stage was rather brief – while quite intense in its own way – and the second lasted for what seemed an eternity. At seventeen I didn’t even think of myself as being depressed (I’m still not sure if I truly was) but I consider my contemplation of death at the time to be more so about laziness than anything else; life had gotten incredibly complicated and I was getting tired of carrying around the weight. In my twenties (when I completely fell apart) suicide became attractive because life had gotten so painful that even breathing hurt. Everything felt hopeless and my existence felt pointless.

While I’m not going to get into the ‘why’ of things, clearly I never opted out. Since my ‘now’ is a lot sunnier than my ‘then’, I should think it’s not a wonder that I prefer to live in the present, but again, that’s really not what’s stopping me from telling you the whole story. I’ve made peace with my ‘then’. Over the years I have taken out each memory, examined them and found a way to deal with my history without just blocking it away. Some things are buried a little deeper in the back of my proverbial closet than others, but there’s nothing in there that I’m truly afraid of anymore. I can talk about most of these past experiences fairly openly without doing damage to my mental/emotional state. The only reason I’m holding back here is because of the length of time the tale would take to tell. I still may tell it… just not here and now.

For the sake of this challenge, I think the only thing that’s really important to remember is that I was wrong. Back when I looked at the world as being hopeless and my place in it as being pointless, I was not looking through clear eyes; I was looking through the haze of emotion and the fog of fear. It doesn’t really matter what my reasons for hanging around were back then, it only matters that I’m here now. If I had taken the emergency exit back when I was considering it, I would have missed out on so much, and that would have been a dreadful shame. Today I can honestly say that I am happy…  far happier than I ever imagined I could some day be. It was a long hike to get to where I am today, but I’ve learned a lot along my journey. The most important lesson I’ve learned? That life is not just something that I had to get through, but a gift with many layers of wrapping paper. Some of those layers might have been a little ugly, but the true gift buried deep within is beautiful and well worth the effort.

Sappy? Maybe. True? Yes.

 


Challenge Day 25: The reason you believe you’re still alive today…

I have often sat and pondered this very mystery. Off the top of my head – without even really trying – I can think of at least two dozen instances that should have led to my death, and dozens more that were just so bloody reckless that they could have ended pretty badly.

And yet here I am…  

I’m not even sure how I lived through being a kid; I was quite graceless while going through growth spurts back then and I was famous for wandering about with my head in the clouds instead of on whatever I happened to be up to.

I once fell between two boats during a storm. I don’t recall the incident myself, but according to the stories my father loves to tell, my uncle managed to grab me by the hair and yank me up just before the boats came smashing together. By all accounts, I should have been pancaked.

Another story my dad likes to tell (this one I vaguely recall) is of me doing a tight-rope walk along a balcony banister twenty to thirty feet above a rocky beach. I fell and probably should have died, but chance had me land on the only blackberry bush on that entire stretch of beach. I walked away from that one with a lot of scrapes and scratches, but no lasting damage.

{There are plenty of other stories from my early years that I could share with you (some are even quite amusing) but I’m a little pressed for time again, so we’ll just move on.}

Throughout my teen years I was hit by a Harley, had a gun shoved in my face, picked a fight with a pimp, got robbed at knife point, hung out with two murderers (I briefly dated one of them months before they were arrested for murder, and I don’t think I was ever in any real danger from either of them), took copious amounts of illegal narcotics, rode with drunk drivers, tried to fly off the roof of a barn and fell off the roof of a house. Also in my teens I was ‘miraculously’ spared from several situations that could have proved quite fatal (for example, the car accident that killed my friends ‘I’ and “K’ that I talked about in a different challenge).

In my twenties I had my very own freak-stalker who used to send me cut up pictures of myself (something I didn’t even take all that seriously until he was arrested for beating another girl half to death with a hammer) I hung out with a guy (who dated my little sister… and he seemed like such a nice young chap!) who is still in jail now for killing two people execution-style; again, I don’t think I was ever in any danger from him, but it is a very unnerving feeling to realize the guy that’s been crashing on your couch every weekend is capable of something like that. I drank enough to kill a regular person, took even more illegal narcotics, rode in cars with more drunk drivers, and was spared ‘miraculously’ from a handful of other situations that could have led to death – or at least serious injury. Also in my twenties, I spent a time playing with fantasies of suicide and living with a general abandonment of concern for my own well being.

Of late, the only real danger I’ve put myself in (that I’m aware of) is locking myself out of my house in -40 weather without a jacket… I think I’m improving. Of course, these days I have a lot more to live for and as such, I am more careful.  

I don’t really believe in luck, so I cannot say that I’ve been lucky. I don’t think I believe in fate either (though I’m not entirely decided on the matter) and so I’m not comfortable saying that I persevered because destiny had other plans for me. I’ve had people say to me, “God must be looking out for you,” or “You’ve got an angel on your shoulder,” but a higher being watching out for me seems somewhat doubtful. If there is a God, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have the time to follow around some reckless kid, trying to keep her from taking a dirt nap. And if there are angels, surely my refusal to adequately take care of myself would have driven the one on my shoulder to smite me out of frustration years ago.

I’ve heard people talking about things like, “It was just his time to go,” or “I guess it wasn’t her time yet.” This always makes me think of some being half Reaper and half Santa Clause. Usually the mental image that goes along with this is of some very tall, skeletal creature in a blood red cape with a heavy hood; equal parts jolly and terrifying. In one bare-boned, long-fingered hand, he’d clutch the top of a gigantic scroll filled with human names; each with a time and date stamped beside it; and in the other he’d hold an old-fashioned feather quill pen. “He’s making a list… he’s checking it twice…” As that I’m a chronic list maker myself, and since I know how hard it is to keep up with my own lists when other stuff is going on, is it not reasonable to assume that perhaps (just maybe) my Grim Santa is a scatterbrain too? Or maybe he’s an alcoholic with a tendency to forget about his responsibilities while inebriated, and by default – if he misses your cast call your name just slips down the list. If that’s the case, I should send the guy a case of brandy every time I plan on doing something stupid.

{Heh! I can’t believe I found this image… how bloody cool is that? I found it on sodahead.com, but I’m not certain of the original source.}

Honestly, I have no idea why I’m still alive. Sometimes I think the universe has a horribly ironic sense of humour and that I’ve only lived through those moments that seem so obviously fatal in retrospect, so that I can one day die doing something completely trivial like – I don’t know – choking to death on a piece of popcorn during a giggle-fit, or falling into a full tub while in the process of blow-drying my hair. Mostly however, I just think that it is what it is. I’m alive because I’m alive, end of story.  


Day 24: Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and the artists and letter).

Dear Robin,
Hello old friend, it’s been awhile… which is exactly why I’ve decided to write a letter to you rather than someone else for the purposes of this challenge. Yes, I know it probably seems a little strange, but let’s face it sister; we’re strange. I know you’ve had a long day, so I’ll keep it simple – a meagre ten songs. While they may not be your favourite songs on all days, I know they’re on your mind today. I know this, because I know you better than you know yourself. Without further ado, let’s get down to business.

1) Hero – as preformed by Foo Fighters
2) Society – as preformed by Eddie Vedder
3) No Fun – as preformed by the Sex Pistols
4) Raise Your Glass – as preformed by Pink
5) Forever Young – as preformed by The Forest Rangers, featuring Audra Mae
6) How Will I Laugh Tomorrow – as preformed by Suicidal Tendencies
7) Moment of Weakness – Bif Naked
8) Beautiful – as preformed by Eminem
9) Breakdown – as preformed by Jack Johnson
10) Give a Little Love – as preformed by Ziggy Marley

It now seems like a good time to explain the dedications…. while we’re at it, let’s break some more… screw just leaving a list, let’s give the damn songs!

Hero – as preformed by Foo Fighters
I know that you always think of Zed a little when you hear this, but today you’re feeling extra proud of that man of yours, so I thought this would be a great #1.

Society – as preformed by Eddie Vedder
I dedicate this song to you because I know it speaks to that antisocialist within… sometimes the world gets on your nerves and you daydream about complete and utter freedom from society and all the materialism that pegs us in place like the links of a chain.

No Fun – as preformed by the Sex Pistols
This is the song that almost always pops into your head when you’ve had a somewhat crappy day… I suppose it’s because you can relate to the words. Sorry… the video quality blows.

Raise Your Glass – as preformed by Pink
I just know how much you get this song; it’s become one of your internal theme songs of late.

Forever Young – as preformed by The Forest Rangers, featuring Audra Mae
Again, not the best video, but it was all I could find on short notice, and I KNOW this songs been on your mind all day long… It’s one of those songs that you always relate to both youthful stupidity and hopefulness…

How Will I Laugh Tomorrow – as preformed by Suicidal Tendencies
I wanted to dedicate this song to you today because it reminds you so much of your teen years, and all day long you’ve been thinking about those damn kids and reliving different moments of your own idiocy at their age. I thought you’d appreciate this one.

Moment of Weakness – Bif Naked
Honestly, I’m just dedicating this one because I wanted to hear it… but, if you really need a good reason, how’s this… It always reminds you of the last moron you let break your heart; reminds you and makes you laugh a little.

Beautiful – as preformed by Eminem
I know you like this song… it’s a little sad, but it’s also got a great message… plus, what kind of list could be complete without a little Eminem?

Breakdown – as preformed by Jack Johnson
Here’s one for you that’s bound to put a smile on your face; doesn’t it always? There’s no better reason to dedicate it than that.

Give a little love – as preformed by Ziggy Marley
Sorry Robin, unfortunately I made you the playlist before checking the availability of the videos on youtube… ah well, you know how I am… stubborn to a fault! No way I’m deviating from the list, especially when this song always makes you feel lighter, better, and gives you that warm, fuzzy feeling. There’s just no better way to wrap up the list.

I would have liked to send you a much bigger list, but it’s been a pretty long day for me too. Still, I know you’ll enjoy this list! Make sure and get a good night’s sleep.

Love always,
~Robin~
P.S.: Kudos to you for sticking to your goals.