Faceoff
Surrounded by pandemonium…
Imprisoned by vampiric convictions that gnaw at the flesh –
That feed off the souls of the would be romantics
And dine on the pain of the suffering masses.
Dreaming a dream that is more of a nightmare,
Tasting a taste that is like loathing on the tongue.
Here we stand;
Facing you – you face me.
Facing me – I face you.
There is a standoff of moralities –
A dance to the tune of mutually assured destruction.
Without empathy
We are the losers
Left to drown in our own wreckage.
Without compassion
We are the anonymous warriors
Fighting only to haemorrhage.
Without vision
We are the breeders
Of a malfunctioning civilization.
All bound as one –
As two –
As an infinite sea of soiled faces.
Driven by a famine we can’t feed
And the whisper of a divinity we can’t feel,
We become vacant husks;
Simple shells without an understanding of purpose.
Locked in this cold embrace
We grapple.
Shackled to nothingness…
Tethered to the inner fiends that suckle at the teat of our terrors –
That lick the beads of anxiety from out brows
And ravage our innocence, sacrificed in vain.
Believing a truth that is more of a lie,
Feeling a caress that is like acid on the skin.
Here we stand;
Facing me – I face you.
Facing you – you face me.
There is a confrontation of wills –
A scrimmage to the death of our megalomaniacal methods
Without sympathy
We are the broken
Left to fall apart in our own hands.
Without affection
We are the demons
Blazing only to extinguish.
Without remorse
We are the murderers
Of every idyllic vision.
All fettered in cables of odium –
Just drifting
In an ocean of misunderstanding.
Captivated by false promises that won’t hold,
And the longing for things we don’t need
We become androids;
Programmed only to march without the concern of destination.
Eternally shackled to our perfunctory insecurities,
We fail.
We fail.
Challenge Day 07: Someone who has made your life worth living for
After yesterday’s dark journey (via Challenge 06) I was rather hoping todays would be something I could spin a lovely little bit of fluff around… looking at it now, I see that it could be (if I still wanted it to be as such) but I no longer feel the need. That doesn’t mean, however, that it’s a simple knock-out answer that doesn’t require any thought. Every one of the challenges so far has had greatly multifaceted answers; why should this one be any different?
With that in mind, there are so many people – past and present – that have made my life very much worth living, that it seems unfair to pick just one and ramble on about their fabulous contributions to my life and to the person I’ve become (and am still becoming), but that appears to be what the challenge wants me to do, and so I will now attempt to comply.
I have already talked – in great depth I believe – about my children and how important they are to me, so I think it should be obvious that they make my life worth living. Rather than going on about them, I will offer up a little about one person in particular that has been an amazing presence in my life for a long time now.
I mentioned him once – very briefly – and I think I called him ‘Zed’, so we’ll stick with this pseudonym for the sake of simplicity.
Zed and I are very different in many, many ways. We came from two entirely different worlds, experienced two entirely different childhoods and have two entirely different sets of personal tastes (and/or beliefs) when it comes to almost everything from music to movies to politics to religion and beyond. He’s the kind of guy that always has both feet planted firmly in the real world whereas I’m the kind of gal that only spends a portion of her free time there. He’s always level, calm and rational, whereas I can be all over the place from one minute to the next.
In the past year alone I have read between forty and fifty books. Zed, on the other hand, has read less than two dozen in the entire time I’ve known him – he’s more of a magazine kind of guy. I write, draw and am generally an artsy sort of person, whereas Zed gets enjoyment from things less creative in nature. I’m a computer junkie, and he’s just recently acquired his own computer for the first time… which I should add, he’s not entirely skilled at using or, for that matter, easy to teach.
On a deeper level, he believes in the sanctity of marriage – with all the old fashioned hoopla that goes along with it. I, on the other hand, do not believe in marriage – I mean I believe in exists, obviously I’ve been to weddings before, but I don’t believe in standing up before a God I don’t believe in, and asking him for his blessings. Additionally, it seems a little ridiculous (to me) to spend a pile of money on a ceremony that lands you with a piece of paper telling you what you already know; that you love each other and want to spend your lives together.
There are many more differences between us than the ones that I just stated, but by now you’re probably getting the general idea of just how very different we are. You might even have it in your head by this point that we are probably not the most likely couple… and I wouldn’t blame you for that assumption. But here’s the thing…
There has never been another person in my life that has held so constant or given me near so much support. Our differences can be a little frustrating from time to time (for one or both of us) but we’re just enough alike when it comes to the big stuff in life that it seems to keep things in balance. We stimulate each other, encourage each other and – maybe most importantly – make each other laugh. I love everything about him – differences and all – and he accepts me even though he knows I’m sometimes crazy, occasionally reckless and more often then not, a little strange.
Yes, Zed knows more about me than any other person on this planet, and still he’s never run screaming for the hills. Beyond that though, I trust him completely without reservation and he trusts me. He doesn’t attempt to smother me but gives me the space to be who I need to be. He doesn’t even mind that I’ve added a new blog to my ever changing list of obsessions even though I’ve asked him not to read it unless he really feels the need. Whereas most men might be suspicious of a woman’s secretive ways when she’s clicking away on the keyboard or scribbling madly in her notebooks, he knows what I’m up to and encourages me to keep writing, writing, writing until I start feeling a little more comfortable with the sharing, sharing, sharing part. It’s not a new routine. Besides, he has it in his head that one day I’ll be a famous writer and I’ll be able to take him far away… and he’s just patient enough to keep waiting, even if it takes a lifetime.
So maybe he has a soft spot for romance – you know that sweet sappy kind we learn about in the movies – whereas my idea of a great night with the beau is snuggling up and watching a movie or playing a little one on one Tekken. So maybe we constantly wrestle over the remote control or debate any of a dozen different topics in the course of any one evening… somehow we work.
As far as the marriage thing goes… ya, I’m not much of a fan of the whole deal, but one day – just for him – I’ll likely don a slightly off-white dress and do the awkward lurch down the aisle. It’s a small price to pay for someone who has made my life so worth living.
My Own Private Universe 